Promotional book videos tend to be lame Powerpoint presentations with animated type, stock backgrounds, and cheesy photography. This one from the New Zealand Book Council for Maurice Gee’s “Going West” puts them all to shame. When I (finally) publish a book, I want the NZBC doing my marketing.
Clipped from a review of the movie Avatar.
Gives Bennet Brauer a run for his money:
After the end of yet another humiliating football season yesterday in Detroit, my daughter Abby crafted this fantastic book, which she deftly titled, “All About The Detroit Lions.”
And yes, I do believe that the Lion logo on the cover is pooping a football.
I work in advertising. I write for clients on a daily basis. I spin words that make them look good, that make people want to buy whatever it is they’re hawking.
But even I have to draw the line somewhere.
Unlike these people, who were offered a six-figure sum by Big Pharma to write a fictional thriller — The Karasik Conspiracy — in which a group of shadowy terrorists conspires to murder thousands of Americans by poisoning the medicine they’re importing from Canada to beat U.S. drug prices. (If this plot sounds familiar, it’s because Big Pharma has tried to scare state legislatures and Congress out of giving Americans access to cheap Canadian drugs by warning that terrorists might poison the imports.)
Oh, and the book also had to contain lots of “frilly female stuff.”
The authors apparently produced the novel in 45 days, at which point Big Pharma decided maybe the book wasn’t such a good idea and tried to buy off the authors to keep quiet. To which the authors promptly replied, “Suck it, Big Pharma.”
I’m not sure what troubles me more about this:
Regardless, I can be sure about one thing: thoughts of a serious writing career are pretty much over for those two writers. They’ll forever be known as “those Pharma writers.”
I guess the six-figure advance helps soften that blow.
You can get a free AK-47 with the purchase of a new truck at this guy’s dealership, whose motto is, “God, Guns, Guts, and American Pick-up Trucks.”
Hurry, supplies are limited! Supported by Rush Limbaugh!
The only thing separating my white Chrysler Town and Country from the one in front of me is the Arkansas license plate.
Oh, and the trash bags full of stuff duct taped to the roof of the car, including the tricycle on the top.
Also, the driver is shirtless.
Does anyone else hear banjos?
“I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.” — Anna Quindlen
There are so many reasons to love children’s and young adult books (which is probably why I have more of them on my shelves than any other genre). Here are a few:
Where the Wild Things Are
The Chronicles of Narnia
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
The Snowy Day
Whistle for Willie
Bridge to Terabithia
Because of Winn Dixie
The Indian in the Cupboard
Make Way for Ducklings
Blueberries for Sal
The Lightning Thief
The Giver
A Wrinkle in Time
Harry Potter
Tikki Tikki Tembo
The Velveteen Rabbit
The one legacy I hope to leave my kids is a love for books and reading. If my son’s excitement over his new library card (”You mean they just let you take the books? Like, for free?”) is any indication, I’m off to a good start.
Tomorrow is November 1.
Which means that some radio stations will start playing Christmas music 24-7.
It also marks the start of the National Novel Writing Month (NANOWRIMO) challenge, in which I am a participant. The idea is to pen a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, or about 1667 words a day. As I write, this works out to be about 5 single-spaced typewritten pages each day (including a double-space between paragraphs). So by the end of the month, I will theoretically have the first draft of a 180-page novel written.
This is pretty much going to be an impossible task for me, because this is how I write:
I hem and haw. I agonize over the choice of a single word. I write a sentence, rewrite the sentence, rewrite the sentence again. And then I delete the sentence and start over. I find something to distract me — a book about plot and character, checking my email, going to the local pharmacy to buy orange Tic-Tacs and check my blood pressure on that little 25-cent machine they have in the back corner.
I come back and reread what I’ve written, decide that only about 5 percent of it is worth keeping, and rewrite again. My internal editor tells me that my main character is boring, so I drop a drunk relative into the scene. But the drunk relative doesn’t want to behave on the page so I replace him with a more cooperative character. I notice that there are three typos, one incorrect use of the present perfect tense, and four instances of inconsistent point-of-view. I correct these errors immediately.
It has been four hours. I have three paragraphs written. I give up, because the idea was stupid to begin with.
But in the NANOWRIMO challenge, there is no time to sit around dissecting grammar and strategizing your plot like a chess game.
The rule is: just write. One word after the other, until the little word counter at the bottom of your MS Word document reaches 1,667. Yes, it will be crap. Yes, there will be plot holes and flat characters and totally lame dialogue that goes like this:
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Nothing. What’s up with you?
“Not much. Wanna go grocery shopping with me?”
“Um, ok. Can we get some asparagus? Because I like asparagus.”
“Sure.”
According to NANOWRIMO, those are good things. Because after all, you’re writing…you’ll have raw content to go back and revise into a work of art when you’re done…and c’mon, how many English teachers ever gave you permission to write crap?
I think the late, great Ernest Hemmingway said it best: “The first draft of anything is shit.”
And I’m about to get knee-deep in it.
Apparently I’m not the only Twilight fan who’s not exactly an angst-ridden teenage girl anymore. And here for the past week I thought I was alone in my secret grown-up swooning over Edward Cullen.
I mean, vampires? C’mon! I’m more of a historical - fiction - Jane - Austen - highly - literary type reader. Teenage vampires don’t usually find their way into those kinds of books.
But with all the buzz about Twilight and the opening of the movie in less than 12 hours, I decided to give the book a chance. I like to stay up on what popular culture is reading so I can give an educated opinion when someone asks…and besides, I needed some inspiration for the young adult novel I’m working on for my NANOWRIMO project.
Well.
Let’s just say that my book won’t include any vampires, because I couldn’t possibly top the intense, brooding, absolutely perfect Edward Cullen. (I just hope British actor Robert Pattinson has an entourage standing by to beat the girls away.)
So I read the book in a single sitting (yes, it’s that good)…ignoring children, housework, television, ringing phones and multiple requests from my husband to please stop reading for just five minutes.
Now, I’m not obsessed enough to ask Rick to grow fangs or anything…it is after all, just a book…but I can hardly wait to see the movie and read the rest of the series.
(For the record: I don’t recommend Twilight for young readers — especially not seven-year-olds. 16 and up — enjoy at your own risk. You might find Edward Cullen…well, irresistible!)
Word nerd. Book junkie. Slacker mom.
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